Ritratto di un Maestro
A so-called master painter
Painted with an invisible paint,
Super expensive, special ordered
From China, so all of his so-called
Masterpieces are invisible to you
And me, who are too stupid, anyway,
To appreciate them, were they visible.
Actually, he sucked, like the rest of them.
Skipping breakfast, lunch and dinner, he’d
Labor for many months on a single canvas,
Expending a heroic amount of mental
And physical energy, not to mention
Obscene amounts of invisible paint,
To produce a piece of innocuous or,
At best, fairly obnoxious garbage.
You can’t blame him. His eyesight was bad,
His motor coordination poor, his knowledge
Of art history rudimentary, his mind average,
His passion zero. Look at his wife’s wan smile.
In short, he was just an idiot with a palette knife,
Like the rest of them, but, boy, could he paint!
What I Usually Tell My Students
Rhymes are built into the language, any, really,
Even those without vowels. It takes no special
Effort or skill to sing song along as you versify.
That’s why you must be sly about rhyming. Don’t
Pummel readers with obvious end rhymes, OK? Pope
Benedict Now Bigger Dick to Gays. SEAN AVERY IS
NOW AN EVEN BIGGER DICK. Who’s got the bigger
Dick? Chris Brown or Neyo? My senator is a bigger
Dick than your senator. How can I get a bigger dick
(Naturally)? Men’s obsessions with penis size dates
Back to the start of time and no matter what god has
Given them, most men want a bigger dick. Watch the
How To Get A Bigger Dick Quick! Video. Daily Kos:
I’m so tired of “I’ve got a bigger dick” foreign policy.
How about it? Get A Bigger Dick Today. Let’s Play
“Who’s The Bigger Dick? Wow, Roger Clemens is a
Bigger dick than we imagined. Seth: How can I get
A bigger dick naturally without any pumps? WANT A
BIGGER DICK? MAXIMIZE YOUR MANHOOD. Ben Dover
Bigger Dick Kit. Ben Dover’s Penis Pump Kit is from the
Porn star himself. Eight inch wonder includes a free cock
Ring, the chamber is made from a translucent plastic.
So, you see, it’s even OK to rhyme “Seth” with “get,”
“Cock” with “plastic,” and even “plastic” with “plastic.”